Storied Conversation: Teens Talk Mental Health

A couple of weeks ago, I spoke with Andrew, who is a new contributor for the blog, about mental health. We talked about our personal experiences over the past year and what we are doing to help our well-being.

Sophia So let's talk about mental health.

Andrew Well, I would say that sometimes my mental health… it [fluctuates]. Mental health, especially in 2020, is really stressful. When you're a teenager and you have a lot of stuff to do like... I swim, I'm doing Rococo and SVP, which is Student Voice Project, I'm in BSU, and [being] in multiple clubs can be really stressful on a person.

So that's kind of my experience when it comes to mental health. I would say, I just feel like sometimes, whenever things get tough or something, I just kind of break down, you know. Not saying that, like, I cry or anything. I just feel really mellow and kind of sad and depressed. But, you know, when you're a teenager, you just kind of push through it until it's all over. Yeah. That's my take on mental health. How would you say mental health has treated you or has impacted your 2020?

Sophia I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I think I've come a long way. At the beginning of 2020, I started going to therapy, just because I was at a really really low point and I said to my mom, like, “I can't go on like this. I need to go to therapy.” And I did, and it has been amazing. I've really started prioritizing my mental health and, as you said, as a teenager, it's really hard because life goes on. There's always some sort of assignment or whatever, that gets in the way. I really started prioritizing my mental health because, for me, I know what it was like at my lowest point, and I've tried everything to not go back. And I haven't. It's been hard, and with school, it's hard. I think as teenagers, we're all supposed to have it all figured out, or at least, there’s this idea that we all have it figured out and I don't. I'm really hard on myself. One thing I've learned with this last year to give myself grace. Because this year is crazy and very unprecedented. So I've just been trying to give myself grace. Mental health is something I wanted to talk about for a very long time. I think our entire generation is talking about it more than others [but] people still aren't talking about it enough and prioritizing enough.

Andrew Yeah. I totally get what you're saying. I also have to go to therapy too, like once every two weeks because I just need to talk to somebody. It's just really tough. I don't want to get political or anything, but I feel like with the victory of Biden becoming the new President-elect... I feel like that has lifted so much weight off of my shoulders. I think, it may have lifted like a bunch of weight off of other teens’ shoulders because I feel like in 2020, we have been focused on so much, and that all that focus and attention [has been] on all the negativity. I feel like it really gets to a person, you know, with George Floyd and the Coronavirus and everything with our president being a racist, xenophobic, piece of shit... sorry… It really helps to know that in a couple of months, we won't have to live with this fear. So, I feel like [Biden being] the President-elect helped with our mental health, knowing that there's going to be a positive ending to this whole thing.

Sophia I think a lot of America is relieved. I am. Last night, I watched Biden speak, and Kamala Harris speak, and I just had happy tears. Everything that we have been fighting for... It's not over. It won't be over, but we're one step closer. And I think 2020 has just been super hard for a lot of different reasons. There were nights… I remember when I found out about the [verdict of] the Breonna Taylor case, I literally cried and I broke down. So everything, even quarantine and school, and Covid and every negative thing in 2020 has really led up to this moment. I kind of saw this conversation going this way just because we're doing it at such an interesting time. It's literally the day after we found out that Biden is President-elect and everything in 2020 has led up to this moment and I will say I took a huge sigh of relief. Yesterday, knowing that, at least for the moment, things will get better, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Andrew Yeah, totally. A lot of the events that happened in 2020 played into my mental health like the Black Lives Matter movement. When George Floyd was killed and the video of him blew up, I was hit hard because it was just like, “Damn, he… he looks like me, he's African American, he's black like me. That could have been me”

I also saw that he was like my father, and ever since that happened to George Floyd, I've just been focusing on my father and watching him and making sure that nothing happens to him and he doesn't do anything like speed too much...I'm like, don't do that. I don't want you to end up like him.

Sophia I can't imagine what it must be like. I mean, the world is a messed up place. It's a f*cked up place. And that's even maybe putting it lightly… 2020 is the epitome of how effed up our world is. And, you know, as we're coming towards the end, it's weird looking back. I'm honestly super surprised that during 2020, I didn't have more breakdowns or I wasn't as low as I have been because it was freaking hard, and it still is hard for a multitude of reasons. I mean, I can't imagine, I watched that video and it was heartbreaking. You hear about these instances, but truly watching a man beg for his life. It's horrible.

Andrew This is kind of going off-topic from Black Lives Matter, but it's like, the same thing with mental health in 2020. I remember one day, maybe a month ago, I was done with swim practice and I was driving home when I felt this pain in my head. I just felt it, a huge migraine. I usually have a pretty high pain tolerance whenever I get hurt or something but I'm like, “ow that hurt.” But I didn't cry about it. This pain in my head... it was just like a whole big wave of just emotions. I was crying, I was angry, I was just hurt, and like my mom was just like “go sleep.” And I slept for 13 hours. 13 hours. I never do that, but it was just a little episode or a breakdown from all of the stuff that happened [in 2020].

Sophia Um, yeah, I've had many breakdowns. I mean there were nights, you know, scrolling through Tik Tok, I had to put my phone down because I just couldn't take any more of it. It was like everything that could have happened, happened in 2020. It's a lot. And I think also for teenagers, especially having to navigate through it all, is something that's been unusual to our generation. Like, this has never happened. Ever. 2020 is probably the weirdest year to ever happen and to be a teen and navigate regular teen issues. There's a pandemic. Then all of this political stuff, and all [these] social issues and watching a man beg for his life. You take everything that happened, and trying to be a teen and navigating and formulating thoughts about it with it all being in your face is hard when we're just trying to grow up. You know, I was struggling before this year, and not necessarily with school or whatever but just mentally I was struggling. Then I went online for school and tried to stay motivated and then summer happened. Now school is starting again... it's junior year for me and you. And I feel like junior year is notorious for being a really hard year of high school already so trying to navigate that through this time is really hard.

Andrew Mental health, for teens, is so delicate right now. It's crazy. I got a question. What do you think are some ways that we could improve our mental health?

Sophia I think the number one thing–and I'm working on this too and I said this at the beginning -- is giving yourself grace, especially at this moment in time. Everyone's trying to figure it out. And so just allowing yourself, and giving yourself time to breathe, I think is really important. Also just talking about it because I feel like right now, at least with other teens, I feel like I can’t talk about it. I think we just need to lean on each other more. I can't speak for every teen, but I think we all are feeling this way, or at least to some extent. Yet we don't talk about it. We need to understand this is a really weird time and we're not all going to get it right at first, like there is going to be some trial and error, but that's okay.

Andrew I totally agree with what you're saying. We just need to communicate more. There is so much on our plate right now. You know, when the Coronavirus hit in March, people were like, “Oh, it's going to be two weeks. Two weeks max. We're gonna be back in school in like a month. Don't worry.” When in reality we have been pushing for eight months. That's almost a year. I know there are some kids out there that are, like, basically by themselves. They have no one to talk to right now and they are basically depending on themselves. They are just trying to make it one day at a time.

Sophia As you said, we were in quarantine a lot longer than we expected. Maybe not full quarantine, but basically all of the summer. And then all of a sudden, flip a switch, back in school, get in the daily grind. I don't know about you, but I struggled. I'm still struggling. My school flipped from online, and then back into hybrid. Right when I was figuring out how to manage myself online, my entire schedule changed, and I had to completely revamp everything. That's hard to do. There's no time to even process what's going on, or just take time to think about. I've had no time. I've just been stuck because it's hard to get out of my daily routine.

I feel like schools don't understand the stress that students are under. I don't know how your school is doing hybrid, but we go in every other day and I can't live that way. My Spanish teacher said it best... “Every day you guys go to school is like a Friday. Every day you're not in school is like a Sunday.” Yeah, I just can't live that way.

My teachers try to understand. I think they really do try and understand, how stressful it is… but I just don't think they can. I mean, it is so hard to wake up, get out of bed, get to work on those days off, because I spent the last eight months with literally nothing to do, whatsoever. Now, I'm completely overworked and have no time for myself and my mental health. There's been personal things going on in my life with my family situation and things that really weigh on my mental health, and I've had no space or time to reflect. Eventually, all those things, all my feelings have to come out and the way they do come out is by breaking down or shutting down. It's not healthy. It's not a healthy way to live.

Andrew It really isn't. I was just saying that 2020 is so stressful. I feel like it's Gen Z’s word for how 2020 is treating them–stressful. A lot of us have been stressed, depressed, anxious. We've had all these mixed feelings all bottled up. I just feel like it's all bottled up when you haven't really had anyone to talk to about this stuff.

Sophia It feels like there's no way to even talk about it, like, there's literally no time in the day to talk about it. Like, I was sick two weeks ago because I think my body was just telling me to stop. I needed a break. I couldn't keep pushing myself. I'm doing the same thing now, it's like, I'm averaging five hours of sleep a night, which I know isn't great, but you gotta do what you gotta do. And, like, it's hard. It's a lot. Yeah, and there's a lot on everyone's plates. It almost feels like there's not enough time in the day to get everything done, let alone, be able to relax. I don't know when it's going to end.

Andrew I've seen that too, like, [people] just feel like it's never going to end. [But] it actually feels great to just talk to somebody about it, because like I have friends, but I don't really talk to them about this stuff. I feel like it's good to just talk to someone, a teen like me, a junior, who is also 16 years old.

Sophia Yeah, a little mini therapy session.

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If you or anyone you know is struggling with their mental health, https://www.jedfoundation.org/ can be a great place to start or if you ever need to talk to someone do not hesitate to contact us. Cover: @feminist on Instagram